Creating life out of love and devotion

I will never forget the day we found out we were pregnant. Its a moment that I shared with my husband and I remember the joy and love we felt that day. The idea that I was carrying life inside me filled me with overwhelming thoughts of joy and love. I always wanted to be a mother, a nurturing soul at heart, I grew up taking care of others before taking care of myself. This is our story of love and loss.

Dave and I had been thinking about trying to conceive for awhile but we had wanted to wait until I had gotten my bachelor's degree. So April of 2009, we stopped birth control, but vowed to not aggressively try to conceive. We didn't want to become the over aggressive couple that became so obsessed with becoming pregnant that we would lose sight about what it was about: Creating a life out of love and devotion.

Months passed and we kind of forgot that we were "trying to not try" to get pregnant. One day, my sister asked me if we were pregnant because she had had a dream that we were. I laughed at her and told her no. It was the weekend before she was leaving for a trip to China, Hong Kong, and Japan with my parents for 3 weeks. During these 3 weeks, my life would drastically change.

I was overemotional when my family left for their trip. My coworkers asked me about my family and their vacation and I burst into tears because I missed my sister and mother so much. I didn't realize I was pregnant at the time and brushed it off as being PMS.

One day, a friend of mine asked me when I was supposed to get my period and I realized that I was late. It never even crossed my mind that my period was late. I hadn't even thought about my period because I was so tired and I was thinking about my family on the other side of the world and missing them.

So the next morning at 3 AM, I woke up because I had to pee. So I took the test. This was the longest 2 mins of my life. The house was silent except for the heavy breathing of my husband Dave and our dog Finn in the bedroom. I got back into bed because I didn't want to stare at the test because it would probably be negative. So after about 3 mins, I went back into the bathroom to look for the one word that had wanted to see but thought wasn't going to be there. But as I walked closer to the counter I saw the magic word: PREGNANT.

I wanted to jump for joy but I didn't want to wake Dave because he had to work at in just a few short hours. But I was so overjoyed that I woke him up by jumping in the bed. I scared him half to death. He immediately grabbed his glasses to see the test. He was looking for lines like the old fashioned non digital pregnancy tests. He was half asleep, not comprehending that it was a digital pregnancy test.

We hugged and kissed and layed there staring at each other for the next few hours, unable to sleep from the excitement of our news. We both wanted to call everyone and tell everyone right then and there, but from experience as a Labor and Delivery nurse, I knew we would have to keep our lips sealed for awhile. We vowed to keep our secret, a secret until our first appointment.

I wanted to tell my sister and mother first, but I couldn't tell them over email or phone, I wanted to tell them in person, but they wouldn't be back for 2 more weeks. So I couldn't keep my mouth shut and I told my 2 best friends, Kelli and Kristin. I called Kelli first and she didn't answer her phone, I was so excited that I called her husbands phone too. I knew she would know something was up after that. We were both super excited because she had just had her first perfect little baby girl and our children would be close in age and could grow up together. Then I called Kristin. I work with Kristin but she was in a different office than I was that day. She screamed! She was so excited for us. Later that day I had texted her to tell her that I didn't know if I was crazy or not but I might be having morning sickness and she responded that maybe I was crazy OR I was gonna have twins! I remember being so surprised that she thought I was having twins. Twins? that was impossible!!